the food wasnt that bad

two of my co founders went to jail in 2019.

not metaphorically. literally.

a transaction issue at one of our atms. police took them in. they spent days in custody. their families were terrified. our company was in the news for the wrong reasons.

i called my partner from canada to check on him.

and i still remember exactly what he said.

"the food wasnt that bad. the bed was comfortable. theyre not going to be able to keep us away from laptops and the internet. even if they put us in here.... we'll keep building."

read that twice.

i think about that line more than i should. it has informed everything i have done since.

this is what conviction sounds like in real life.

not motivational quotes on a powerpoint. not founder mode tweets. not wellness optimization routines.

conviction is what you say from a jail cell about the company that put you there.

most people dont get tested at this level. most companies never face this kind of pressure. but every company eventually faces something. layoffs. lawsuits. failed launches. failed rounds. cofounder breakups. partner exits. customer betrayals.

and at the moment of pressure.... what comes out of your mouth is the truth about whether you are actually a builder or just a person playing one on the internet.

builders say the food wasnt that bad.

they minimize the obstacle. they treat it as data. they get back to work as soon as physically possible. they dont indulge in catastrophe narratives.

non builders blame the environment. they explain why this couldnt have been their fault. they need a long break. they need to rest before they can come back. they pivot to a new project that doesnt have these problems.

both responses are human. only one builds companies that survive cycles.

and the kicker is that this isnt a personality trait. it is a habit. and habits are buildable.

every time something goes wrong.... you get to choose what comes out of your mouth.

complain. or report and move on.

after enough repetitions one of those becomes default. and the default decides the trajectory of the company.

my co founders chose the second response in jail. they chose it again when our supreme court case took years. they chose it when partnerships broke. when key staff left. when fundraises stalled.

they chose it so many times that it just became who they were.

and we are still here. fifteen years in. still building.

so heres the question.

what comes out of your mouth when something goes wrong?